A Thank You Letter to the Man Who Made Me

Who could ask for anything more?

My father is the greatest man I have ever known. If I am truthful with myself, the reason I don’t have kids yet is he did such a good job both at being a great father and at providing for us that I’d consider myself an abject failure if I didn’t do as good a job and I’m still nowhere near ready to perform at the level he did.

My father came from nothing. He grew up in a poor town called Aurora, NY outside of Buffalo. My grandfather by all accounts was not the best man, but he did sink a lot of investment into my father’s education, which my father ran with. He went to Harvard and graduated Magna Cum Laude. He then went to Georgetown Law where he was the editor of the Law Review. After that, he started at Goodwin, becoming a partner in 1985, retiring after a very long and successful career in 2021.

That tells but a tiny fraction of who my father is. He’s the most moral, even-tempered, and loving man you’ll ever meet. He gives so much to his family and the dozens of wonderful friends that he keeps. I don’t believe I’ve ever met anyone who has anything bad to say about him. It’s said you can tell a lot about a man by the company he keeps and my father surrounds himself with honest, kind, intelligent, trustworthy people who all look after each other. I’m constantly impressed when I meet my father’s friends and that tells me a lot about him.

Having known him my whole live, I’ve been blessed to have him as my own. When my parents divorced when I was 9, my father stepped up to the plate as my primary custodian while also working an intensely demanding job. He found a way to both come home and pick me and my brother up from the school bus stop every day at 4pm yet continue advancing his career. He’d read to us every night, take the time to do homework with us, and always emphasize the importance of school work, all with a huge smile on his face. I think I only ever saw him angry two or three times the entire time I was a child, despite my being a very difficult child. His patience knows absolutely no bounds.

It wasn’t until later in life that I understood just how lucky I was and how rare it was to have such a father like him. The morals he instilled in me…..integrity, hard work, kindness, love, decency, understanding, listening……..are all still there and form the very basis of who I am today. Especially hard work. That was a lesson not learned in the most pleasant of ways at the time, but it has paid off in the best of ways. Thank you Dad. I’ll definitely not be giving my children the easiest of upbringings either and they will learn to work hard to earn their way.

Even with parents, respect is something earned. When I became unhappy in my marriage, it very clearly showed me who my true friends were. And at every step along the way, my father was there. He never wavered. I know it was hard on him like it was on me, and it’ll take the rest of my life to pay him back, but the true man of integrity that is always there for his family and friends radiated throughout that experience. When it was over, he drove me to the attorney’s office to sign the papers and gave me a big hug when it was all done after cheerfully sitting in the waiting room sipping on coffee talking it up with the admittedly very kind receptionist.

Throughout that experience and every other, my father has remained calm and resilient, never once even hinting at his success like a good old-school New Englander. He’s a beaming example not just for me, but for all of us and what we should all aspire to be. Loving, respectful, friendly, kind, thoughtful, intelligent, and incredibly hard working but always putting family first. This is a man who understands what’s important in life.

I don’t know how a son could have asked for a better role model and I feel lucky every day to call him my father.

Thank you Dad. I love you.