So, where are men and women supposed to meet each other now?

Literally everywhere is off limits

Disclaimer: Obviously all of this differs on geography, local social norms, etc.. I’m basing this on what I read online and what I experience in Boston, MA.

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So, this has been one that has bothered me and I think it bothers both (two primary) genders.

At first, men were told not to approach women in the workplace. That made sense. Over time, men have been told not to approach women in more and more places. The gym, the coffee shop, hobbies, the grocery store, and pretty much anywhere in public. And trust me, as a guy, it’s been made very, very clear to us and me that our approach is not welcome. Not only that, but approaching a woman is perceived as potentially dangerous.

So, when I’m single, I stay away and only go through the socially acceptable means either through dating apps, being introduced through friends, or occasionally at bars, although even approaching there seems to be frowned upon these days which seems very odd since otherwise what is the point of going out to a bar?

What’s at stake for a man, and what I’ve seen happen to men who violate these unspoken rules, is pretty wild. You can lose your job or even your entire career. I’ve seen it happen more than few times. Plus, for the most part, most good men want to follow social norms. So, like I said, we respect these wishes and do not approach. As a business owner, I am extremely sensitive to be very careful about anything that could be considered inappropriate since so much could be at stake. So I am very careful to follow every possible rule.

So I was surprised today when a female friend told me she meets most of her partners through mutual hobbies. I told her men are told not to do that and she said it was perfectly acceptable, although she approached them, which of course explained everything. She seemed to have no clue that men are not allowed to be the initiators of contact anymore.

But even more so, more and more of my female friends complain that men are no longer approaching them…well, yeah. Men are told not to. And quite frankly, we’re frightened to. I know I am. I in fact stopped approaching women around 2016 after being rejected in so many cruel manners with their friends looking on and laughing. I decided it wasn’t worth it. I’ve only let women approach me since and I’ve been much happier.

Women absolutely have a right to a peaceful and quiet life free of being hit on everywhere they go, 100%. But when you make men afraid to approach women, that crosses over into pretty much everywhere in society which I think is what we are experiencing. I certainly notice it when I go out and rarely see men going up to women like they did 10-20 years ago. It’s almost non-existent now.

Personally, I think dating apps are a poor substitute and most everyone I know who is single is lonely and frustrated.

So, I’m going to throw this one out there: single or dating men and women, what do you think of the status quo? Do you approach or want to be approached? What do you think of dating apps and the current dating situation? Do you think anything needs to be done?

Leave a comment and let’s have a healthy discussion about it.