My sense is that this overarching norm is caused by a few women who have had legitimate bad experiences in life and are so very vocal about using shame (and some men have deserved it).
However this general avoidance by men and unfulfilled desire by many women to be approached does leave a void to be filled by men who are willing to do so in a humble confident flexible way that is polite and bold simultaneously. It is hard but not impossible to open up. Just imagine if you found ways to do it authentically and comfortably. You’d establish a competitive advantage in the dating market that everyone else is too scared to attempt.
My goal for myself is to be bold again in this arena. I’ve gotten some very enjoyable dates and relationships from being the initiator in a calm confident manner that allows women to feel safe while being pursued respectfully.
That’s an understandable reaction to the rejection-as-common era we seem to be in. That still means there are missed opportunities out there to be pursued.
My sister (mid-20s) just met her boyfriend in her office. No one thought twice about it (in NYC).
The riskiness of the approach is part what makes it romantic and exciting. Can be used to your advantage as a guy if you can handle it (read: are good looking)
I mean, since SNL made a skit about this, I don't feel bad mentioning it, but the fact that it's ok for attractive men to approach but not unattractive men feels very weird and unfair, even as an attractive man.
My sense is that this overarching norm is caused by a few women who have had legitimate bad experiences in life and are so very vocal about using shame (and some men have deserved it).
However this general avoidance by men and unfulfilled desire by many women to be approached does leave a void to be filled by men who are willing to do so in a humble confident flexible way that is polite and bold simultaneously. It is hard but not impossible to open up. Just imagine if you found ways to do it authentically and comfortably. You’d establish a competitive advantage in the dating market that everyone else is too scared to attempt.
My goal for myself is to be bold again in this arena. I’ve gotten some very enjoyable dates and relationships from being the initiator in a calm confident manner that allows women to feel safe while being pursued respectfully.
I've learned to spot the signals of a woman who wants me to approach her. This way I haven't been rejected since 2015. Fairly simple solution.
That’s an understandable reaction to the rejection-as-common era we seem to be in. That still means there are missed opportunities out there to be pursued.
My sister (mid-20s) just met her boyfriend in her office. No one thought twice about it (in NYC).
The riskiness of the approach is part what makes it romantic and exciting. Can be used to your advantage as a guy if you can handle it (read: are good looking)
I mean, since SNL made a skit about this, I don't feel bad mentioning it, but the fact that it's ok for attractive men to approach but not unattractive men feels very weird and unfair, even as an attractive man.